Stacey T Pollock
“Life is a perception of the mind and we 'all' have the answers within us”
Having spent 10 years personally studying subjects relating to life and development, Stacey is now ready to present to the world her own personal perception of creation and the reason for its existence. She has spent many years researching topics relating to the organisation of the material world and current perceptions and ideas surrounding our purpose here as humans in this world.
It has been purely a personal interest for her to delve into areas of creation and to create a path for herself to discover answers to her own long awaited questions. Not only does she have a personal interest in life creation but also in other areas of study that she has pursued through forms of art, graphic design, painting and three dimensional studies. Her work in life has lead her towards new insights into creation theory through her time working with others in many various jobs, one involving time spent with the aged and dying.
Stacey will continue to search out and discover through her interest in travelling and meeting people from all walks of life and is now presiding in the Netherlands having formerly lived in Australia. She will be always ready to explore and discover new ways in seeing her world and will continue to enjoy relating to others her insights into what she has herself discovered and conceptualised.
Writing is an art form that she enjoys and she seeks only but to share with others her personal discoveries and knowledge. She has much more to share and will be continuing well into the future with expressing and writing about all that she has come to understand as her own truth. Stacey’s philosophy in life is that all is perception and that everything is in the mind. She fully believes that there are true answers to all that we wish to know, that we only have to find out what the core truth is within all that is being created around us.
There is a reason for all that is created and if you too have an interest in creation, then join Stacey on her journey through her own personal discovery and maybe you too will find answers to some long awaited questions?
It has been purely a personal interest for her to delve into areas of creation and to create a path for herself to discover answers to her own long awaited questions. Not only does she have a personal interest in life creation but also in other areas of study that she has pursued through forms of art, graphic design, painting and three dimensional studies. Her work in life has lead her towards new insights into creation theory through her time working with others in many various jobs, one involving time spent with the aged and dying.
Stacey will continue to search out and discover through her interest in travelling and meeting people from all walks of life and is now presiding in the Netherlands having formerly lived in Australia. She will be always ready to explore and discover new ways in seeing her world and will continue to enjoy relating to others her insights into what she has herself discovered and conceptualised.
Writing is an art form that she enjoys and she seeks only but to share with others her personal discoveries and knowledge. She has much more to share and will be continuing well into the future with expressing and writing about all that she has come to understand as her own truth. Stacey’s philosophy in life is that all is perception and that everything is in the mind. She fully believes that there are true answers to all that we wish to know, that we only have to find out what the core truth is within all that is being created around us.
There is a reason for all that is created and if you too have an interest in creation, then join Stacey on her journey through her own personal discovery and maybe you too will find answers to some long awaited questions?
Personal Experiences and Philosophy
What makes a person delve into the science of the mind and personal perception, in order to find an answer to the meaning of life and existence? This is a tremendous adventure that I have untaken in my own life, also as an author to discover a way to see formation of life in a more practical and defined way. I was never a person to accept stories of others based on curiosity and unknown facts. I wanted to find a systematic approach to understanding life that could be seen without presumptions and already preconceived concepts and ideas. To find a way to approach understanding of creation and personal purpose and perception, I had to delve deep into my own very nature and explore realms of myself that do not always balance in the framework of logic alone.
What does it take to make someone have such a deep mind in which to try and conceptualize the most amazing and greatest explorations of all time, to understand why I am here? I had a strong belief from a very young age that life was based on many different models of perception, that for each individual of this world, I knew they each had their own philosophy and reasoning in order to define the space that to which they lived in. Knowing this I explored for many years all philosophies and perceptions in order to find a common ground that could bring together all known logical, ethical, and philosophical beliefs to welcome each other hand in hand, with the same common podium of truth and reasoning.
My younger years were at times trying for the most part with many interesting experiences that I was to later discover their significance to my personal studies. I spent a lot of time thinking and conceptualizing on life, watching how people interacted with one another, fascinated by their mannerisms and resolution. I was considered I suppose a weird sort of child, or rather a deep thinking and strongly analytical watcher, of course also a child with a strong mind and what was presumed a sort of stubbornness. There was many a time that someone said to me that I was different in their eyes, not viewing life on the structures and philosophies that were already laid down by rules and guidelines. I could see and value the structure of life from all angles and understand it fully for its role and purpose as a whole.
I suppose I did annoy a lot of people with my conceptual thinking. When people wanted me to take their side on opinion and cause, I found it very difficult to stand strong with them in defense without first looking at all angles of resolution. Gradually people came to accept that I would not feel sorry for them, seeing me in many ways to be strong, hard and yet strangely considerate in my own personal nature. To listen to people delve into their life through stress and fatigue was the most difficult thing for me to undertake in all areas of my life, often leading me to gradually move away from these people, who could not personally find total resolution and solidity. I would just slowly move to the side, concentrating my focus on bigger things that answered my own personal desires and goals in order to understand what it all meant in its entirety.
I had many a strange experience that at the time I could not shed light on to make understanding of the events, to which I had myself asked others for help on my way. I suppose the hardest realization was to discover that no one had the answers and most just fumbled through life through stress and pains, in order to find a stretch of happiness that they could lie comfortably on without too much conflict or tension. I knew they could not help me with my own questions; I could see clearly that their minds were full of their own unresolved questions and frustrations. Noticing that when I did talk about my issues this only led to them becoming frustrated by the fact that they would have to deal with helping me as well as helping themselves.
This I could very much understand. I knew how it felt when I had to myself deal with the panic events that others around me were participating in, having had bad family situations all around, I knew I would have to find the answers for myself within. I decided very early in my life to not bother with sharing myself with others too much, unless they would not take on my experiences as their own problem and instead listen to me as an interested bystander. The things that I would tell them stretched far beyond the ability to cope with stress, but instead delved into realms most fear to tread, and yet here I was faced with it alone as all others in life, knowing full well in myself there had to be an answer to what I was experiencing.
I think my true growing up started around 10 years of age in a time that I was at primary school. I was starting to have dreams that involved sand patterns, that when I closed my eyes this was all that was presented to me. I had trouble sleeping and could not close my eyes for annoyance at the sand constantly flowing into patterns and designs in my mind, this went on for a very long time, to which I never shared with anyone because I knew very well even at this age that it was not a thing to talk about for creating stress on other people in my life. I had already been branded a very deep thinking and psychologically complex child, so I did not like the thought of being faced with annoyance by others at my weirdness and strange experiences.
The event of the sand patterns was not in itself a weird experience in totality, I was later to discover that I had experienced a trauma as a child after having gone into a cupboard and had tipped the sugar container over, screaming at all the sugar that I had in my hands. I hated to go to the beach as a child, I would scream just at the sight of sand. I knew that I had a stress inside myself as a child, something that I was not willing to accept, and kept it to myself without sharing it with anyone until much later in my life. This stress derived out of a broken family and abuse as a child that would never be accepted by me as foundational, I forced myself to find resolution in all that I experienced.
It might be hard to imagine that a child of 10 actually intellectually resolves issues inside themselves in order to find a balance in life. However this is true for myself in the most part, I remember how I was at that age, a deep thinker and already someone who could make the most out of anything. Giving up was not a philosophy that I held onto and I decided very young that I would reason causal events to the depth of their meaning in order to resolve the problems that I had in my life. People used to say to me constantly strange things like, ‘people cannot be happy all the time’ and ‘stop trying to make me happy’. I found this a strange philosophy to hear from the mouth of others and wondered why they so willingly wanted to hold to their insecurities and unhappiness in life, guarding it as if it was their only foot to stand on.
People were guarding their choice to be unhappy reasoning to me that life had to be lived with pain as well as happiness. I could not see the value in this philosophy, honestly it sounded like such foolishness to me to be living on pain in order to find reason to survive. It was a strange basis to reason life from, and I strongly opposed this way of seeing this in the whole of my life. I could not find the value in such philosophy and the reasons people would want to base their life on bad and good being part of the whole. I felt so strong inside myself that life was based on choice, and that alone. I had myself made the choice not to focus on my own unhappiness as much as possible and it was working, at least until I was confronted by people who could not stand my constant non acceptance of their ‘feeling sorry for themselves’ philosophy.
I could not see reason and purpose in this sort of lifestyle, it was nothing I knew and although I had my fair share of bad experiences, I always found a way to understand it foundationally in order to try and reason it to move forward in life. I knew there was a reason for everything, and life did not have to be lived by rules of the old, but instead guided through choice and the ability to make decisions myself on how I wanted to view my life. My mind was my own and although people judged me often on my perception of life, I knew that I would always find my way through events in order to find resolution and resolve. This lead me to leave many people in my life that could not accept or handle to have such a strong minded person in their life, and I reasoned this through logic, knowing full well that they had their own choice on how they wanted to see life and instead of wanting them to change, I allowed them to voice their opinion and I accepted that they have their own point of view.
I loved this part of them, their ability to hold onto things that they believed in. I was most often sad to let them all go, but I did it mostly because of seeing the pressure they felt from my choice of viewing life and guided my way to finding people that had a view of the world in a similar way to my own philosophies. Leading me to meet many wonderful people in my life, who did come and go though the rest of youth to my now maturity. I let them go for the fact mostly that I did not need to learn from them at all, the learning was going on inside of my own mind, no longer needing the strong hand of others forcing me into their models of life, from the age of 16 I ventured out into the world to discover life for myself and all that it had to offer in answers to the many questions that I had streaming through my mind.
Most people could relate I am sure to the writing that I am talking of so far, having gone through their own ups and downs and issues in life. We are all challenged with the physical and psychological experiences of our youth that make us into the person that we see ourselves as now. The main difference I could see between my experiences compared to others was the fact that they could never let go of the past, or let go of people in their life that only caused trauma and pain to their efforts. I had a far different way of working that led me to venture through most inwardly and alone, working through things ‘with’ other people rather than depending on them for answers. I knew every time I asked questions, especially in my mid to late teens that people would only ever answer on their own opinion and reasoning. Here I was for a while still learning in part to let go of others people’s philosophy and to build one of my own, to which most have to face at one time or another in their life and experiences.
These things were the easiest experiences for me to accept and move on from; even to this day I do not allow the drama of others to venture into my life as my own philosophy. This might seem hard and selfish but in order to help others I was to learn that in allowing them to help themselves was the biggest philosophy of life. I knew that the longer I stayed around holding their hand that they were never going to find reason in themselves in order to see value in their life. To help them be happy I knew I had to let them go, I was not helping them but instead only teaching them how to depend on others for their own purpose in life, instead resulting most times on them having anger towards my own position in life, saying how easy I had things myself and how I could stand strong on my own. This resolution to help others was resolved by the time I was 16 and I moved out of home and into a new world of experiences and adventures.
Even to this day I venture only to help others physically as much as possible, not emotionally if possible. I see that they have the integrity to do things for themselves, knowing full well that what I had achieved in myself was something anyone could achieve, without having to follow on in life being jealous of others and what they have themselves achieved. I knew achieving things came from an individual who is willing to find resolution in their own self and a path to their own glory and happiness. The only person who could decide their fate was their own individual self and although they might have begged and pleaded to others for help, they would eventually be faced with the choice themselves to make decisions for their own happiness and philosophy.
Of course, this type of lifestyle does make a person into who they are in character; that goes for everyone. It can make a writer understand the value of things through their own experiences, but does only justify a part of why I was searching for answers to life so deep. There were many experiences that I was not to share with people until well into my 20s that made it clear to me where my philosophy was coming from even stronger. These things had no logical and structured answers even from my own logical reasoning until the age of 21 and beyond when it all started to get clearer in my mind.
Whether it was to be caused from trauma, the normal senses of pressure that comes from the world around, there were many things I was experiencing that did not line to what I was hearing from others. This is the time I started to read big into books to delve into answers to experiences that I was having that did not fall into the framework of normal in societies eyes. I felt however, that for me it was normal and justified and I resolved that there were definable answers for why things were happening and I found ways in which to search for them for myself; leading to the point that I did find answers, that had plausible cause and reasoning to back all the experiences up.
Growing up as a child I found it peculiar why people reacted to me in strange ways when I said things to them. I knew why they thought in the way that they did towards me from very young, to which I was later to discover that what I was projecting was not considered a normal way to act within the structured acceptance. To me viewing a person from their own mind was normal, most do not obviously venture to do this in their life, for their own reasons I still do not understand a lot of people’s distrust of things that go too deep, that could be because they consider it strange and possibly scary. Nothing was to be seen this way for me, because I could already see what was going to occur, what I was feeling I understood already right down to the core.
I had always been this way ever since I knew. I even remember back to when I was one year old and I had always been able to see what a person was thinking through their emotions and thoughts, sometimes even picking up on their words of thought, word for word. Most just look at you weird and think that it happens from pure coincidence. Some get uncomfortable with it and eventually try and move away not knowing what to think of it. You can well imagine that for me it is normal to view a person in this way and to get this reaction was the strangest thing for me to understand. They feared it a lot, to have someone delving into the deepest parts of their soul, seeing them for all the things that they would rather hide away from all to see.
I had to learn to accept this in others, their fear of such things, and I stopped as much as possible making it evident that I was doing this in our unions, finding it deeply hard at times to face their thoughts of me, let alone to see all the issues that they had to resolve in their lives coming from deep within. The hardest thing to understand is a persons hatred of you before they even get to know you, they hide it away in smiles of pretend gestures, showing full well on the inside what they really feel and why they had that reaction. Knowing what they were having issues with was what resolved this in me to understand it on the basis that the person was overcoming issues inside their own mind. I did not get upset at them because I knew it was not because of me that they felt uncomfortable, and gradually over time they would learn to trust me based on normality rather than fears, just as long as I did not confront them with the fact that I could see deep into their mind for all that they felt or feared.
People do not also want to admit to their inability to cope with things and will always deny things, but I can tell you that I knew this was so for the fact that when they felt comfortable with me they would eventually open up to all the things they hid inside themselves, that I already could see but did not tell. I learnt how to hide what I was seeing by talking to people in general terms, utilizing others as examples to tell them about experiences that were the direct mirror to what they themselves were going through. What I was really talking about however was what they had inside themselves. Describing it through other experiences was just my way of giving them knowledge that I knew about them already, allowing them to open up to me in their own time when I did detail these experiences. Always they say yes I had the same experience, and proceed to tell me about their life and what they are going through.
You can well imagine for me I do not understand why this is not considered normal to focus on life this way, from seeing within all that is from the mind in life. It makes things so much clearer and easier to cope with in order to justify reasons for experiences and events. This is why I was dealing with life and moving through it fast, because I could see already what was happening, and did not realize others did not see the same way. I really thought up until the age of 10 years that others were viewing the world through a similar perspective. We have eyes to see, as we have a mind to view into another person’s world, surely this is not just simple to see? I could not imagine within myself going through life only seeing people on the outside as a surface body and not seeing what they are feeling and thinking as normal. We each have the ability to view in this way, and I see that at times these things arise up in people and I wondered for a long time, why it was that I chose to see life in this way and others chose to avoid it.
This is something I was to learn is that this way of viewing is chosen not to be seen, but is able to be seen by all, I saw this to be so and when I come into contact with people that have chosen to see life this way, it is the most easy and simple of conversations, based on simplicity of life through the material world, devoid of issues from inside that are based from inability to find resolution. Two people with the ability to see each other do never hide anything about their true nature. It is only between people that do not allow this to occur where there are secrets and hidden areas of life, where the person finds it hard to open up to others through fear of ridicule or injustice. It is through the hiding away from fears that stops a person to opening up, choosing instead to hide away in their fear of being seen. This in turn closes them off to seeing others around them, simply because they are consumed by their own problems that they are dealing with inside themselves.
Once a person opens up to others they start to see that we all go through these experiences, it makes things so much more clear and understanding, when we do not hide away in pity for ourselves, and look out into the world for answers. There are answers; there is always an answer depending on what we individually desire and choose to experience.
It was later from the fact that I knew that all had the ability to see life this way, that when I read books dealing with the subject of seeing people’s minds, I scoffed at some of the notions that were put in place. Words like special and gift, and although to the person individually experiencing these abilities would in considering themselves in relation to others better gifted to view life, they are also intelligent enough to know that they have this ability purely from choice. That the ability can be seen by all if they so choose it. The only special thing about it might be that one could foresee the fate of their own reality and experiences, without the fear of cause and effect and underlying fears that people develop in their own nature, compared to people who are refusing to see in this way. Yes, in the fact that a person has chosen to see life more clearly does make them much more analytically aware and more conceptually grafted but only by that alone, not for the fact that they are gifted to tell others how to live their life, or how to see the world around them.
I did not see any of this stuff as special or enlightening, it was normal and I felt inside myself that the fact that it was not considered normal was the real issue and had a lot to do with people and their inability to want to face issues in their life, leading back to them choosing to have a life of good and bad, just to justify the fact of their experiences. Life I knew already was not built up of from these models. There did not have to be bad or good, only life and experiences. Karma did not fall into the category of good advice in my eyes and I never followed such philosophies for the fact that I knew already that life was founded on something far more foundational than right and wrong. Life is for me decided on choice, which never falls into categories of good or bad but merely into ideals on ethics and values for ordering life on the basis of existing.
These were not to be the only things I was to face in those years, whilst confronting things in books I also came across other forms of seeing that people also considered different and unusual which were not considered in the same way through my eyes. I did not consider myself anything but normal in how I viewed life, just clearer and more precise in my direction and reasoning.
There were many other things that I had the ability to see, which included energies that preside in the world outside of the body. I knew what it was all along, but did not talk of it for a long time, even after reading all the work of people who created stories from old philosophies, religions and beliefs. They say they are seeing dead people walking around us, even talking to them and proceeding to live life within this world that is considered of spirit and the dead. I could also see this world but it was glowing through different reasoning from my own perspective. There was a reason for my justification of this experience and that was from the fact that no person who told of these beings could account for the reason why it existed in the first place. They just concluded that it was the heavenly realm and that was that, full stop, no reason or justification needed.
Ok, this resolve in my eyes was justified by the person experiencing it. They really just wanted to live up to this ideal of going to heaven and that their life of challenge was to bring reward. This part I did respect a lot and found it rather an interesting and worthwhile endeavor to live towards. To see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel is really a life lived on values of experience and living towards goals and purpose. This was a valuable resolution in my eyes, so I was not going to be the one to say that they were wrong. To me there was no right or wrong, only choice and decision to see life a certain way. I could think of worse ways to see life, than to want to dance all day in the clouds with angels. This world sounded grand in the scale of searching towards something that would bring reward and gifts to the person wanting to have it.
Even though I saw this to be this way, and understood why people idealized these experiences they were having as gifts and ways of seeing towards the light of life, I was not going to criticize this for a minute. The only problem was to come from my own mind and its own need for resolution to questions and these methods of seeing life, even though they are beautiful and interesting, they do not answer the core of life and why it forms into what it is from its origins. I knew that life could also be founded on anything, but that somewhere there was a linking parameter that could encompass all philosophies and beliefs, at their true core. I knew what this was and could be seen very practically, and whenever I chose for it I could also delve from time to time into the worlds and ideas of others to see from a different perspective, only to come back to knowing that possibility is a choice based on our own ideals.
I knew what these realms consisted of on a much deeper more definitive level that could encompass all possibilities of belief patterns and be seen from any angle possible. This allowed for quick resolution in my mind whenever I was faced with opposing ideas of others, that I knew they were founded on the same principle of philosophy. This was purely from the fact that all were grounded and justifying their life on the same value systems, just with a different way of wording or imparting their own individual knowledge of the same event. Whether the foundation models of life are called one thing or another, it all means the same at the core of all formation, and that is that we are all traveling from the same beginnings, but along different expressions of life. One person might be choosing to be a writer, whereas another might choose to express through art or design. They might seem as if they are totally different ways in which to see life, however at their core they come from the same space called inspiration which is imparted in all of us at the core.
I could see things a lot clearer but in a more practical way, purely from choice from how I wish to see life individually, which has led me to writing the work that I do now. It is written purely from an achievement that I have within myself, not one that I need to justify to another. It comes from my own experiences and decision on how to view life in my own way. It is a work of individual art and a unique perspective of life based on my own philosophies and choice on how to view life. I get joy in writing about how life can be seen from simple order to find clarity and solution.
People might question by this stage to why I do not delve into acknowledging the experiences that I have in life as being special and unusual. The reason this is so is because my life is defined by acceptance that my world is normal and justifiable. There is never a time in my life that there is not a reason for what I have chosen to do, and if people were to ask me questions I would always have an answer. I am fully confident in my own reasoning of life, and how I choose to live. I am confident in myself and my own abilities to experience life for all that it has to offer. I seek only to find normality in a world that has so much individuality, only to find that the true beauty comes from the uniqueness rather than the core of all that it derives from.
I write from a frame of mind that wants to see truth from foundation, in order to create out from. In this way I have found a wonderful means in which to define my reasoning for life and to experience it for all it has to offer at every level without having to sit it all in a box. I really feel within myself that I have found a strong podium to stand on that reasons life purely from choice for experience alone, leading away from the caged ideals that people like to sit within. In my eyes I see a level of life that is separate from the controls of the material world, knowing full well that if people really knew how simple life really could be seen they would laugh at a lot of the issues they have decided to hold onto for so long, choosing to view life for fun and material enjoyment. In my eyes we are only learning if we so choose to. We are not here to learn lessons, but only to experience life for what it has to offer. Learning is a choice and can bring great rewards in expanding knowledge and the experience for life as a whole.
These are a lot of my philosophies purely based on my experiences and individual viewpoint of life as a unique person viewing out into the world we call creation. I have had a lot of experiences to do with visions, and dreams as well as the ability to find answers from within whenever I so choose. Just like with opening a book there is always an answer within the mind which is the tree of knowledge for all of existence. I can just ask the mind what makes fire, which I did when I was younger. The answer came back to me saying that it is the heat reaction caused from an event taking place, which is from the friction created between two objects when they come into contact with one another. This is how I gain my knowledge, not only through books of other people’s philosophies but also inside the mind where all knowledge is already known.
I looked it up on the computer later and it was justifiable my reasoning for why fire is created when I delved into my mind for an answer. It continues to this day and when I write, even though I do back up things by research after I have seen the things I find in my mind, I also do self experimentation in order to see it for myself as being the truth. I find reason also on factual questioning as well as what I see in the mind. If I write then it comes from what I believe to be true based on all reasoning from as many different perspectives as I can find in order to see it. It is always justifiable in the end and has never to this day been a question in my mind to not be confident in how I view life and the way I perceive it. Even to this day it has not swayed at all in its foundation and reasoning, only leading to the ability for me to see it as foundational and causal to laws of structure and formation based purely on resolve and experience.
It is the truth from my eyes, a way to view creation based on foundation being truth. I enjoy to search through life in this way and hold strongly to my valuing system based on my individual life experiences and the events to which I find myself now. This is the story of my search for answers in my life. I hope it gives clarity to my writing and where it comes from in order to show people a doorway into my own mind and how I structure my life through reasoning. It is a unique perspective of creation, one that I hope you will enjoy to read as not only an art form but as a creative viewpoint imparted by my own knowledge and reasoning, that you can choose to take it or leave it based on your own philosophies, beliefs and reasoning.
What does it take to make someone have such a deep mind in which to try and conceptualize the most amazing and greatest explorations of all time, to understand why I am here? I had a strong belief from a very young age that life was based on many different models of perception, that for each individual of this world, I knew they each had their own philosophy and reasoning in order to define the space that to which they lived in. Knowing this I explored for many years all philosophies and perceptions in order to find a common ground that could bring together all known logical, ethical, and philosophical beliefs to welcome each other hand in hand, with the same common podium of truth and reasoning.
My younger years were at times trying for the most part with many interesting experiences that I was to later discover their significance to my personal studies. I spent a lot of time thinking and conceptualizing on life, watching how people interacted with one another, fascinated by their mannerisms and resolution. I was considered I suppose a weird sort of child, or rather a deep thinking and strongly analytical watcher, of course also a child with a strong mind and what was presumed a sort of stubbornness. There was many a time that someone said to me that I was different in their eyes, not viewing life on the structures and philosophies that were already laid down by rules and guidelines. I could see and value the structure of life from all angles and understand it fully for its role and purpose as a whole.
I suppose I did annoy a lot of people with my conceptual thinking. When people wanted me to take their side on opinion and cause, I found it very difficult to stand strong with them in defense without first looking at all angles of resolution. Gradually people came to accept that I would not feel sorry for them, seeing me in many ways to be strong, hard and yet strangely considerate in my own personal nature. To listen to people delve into their life through stress and fatigue was the most difficult thing for me to undertake in all areas of my life, often leading me to gradually move away from these people, who could not personally find total resolution and solidity. I would just slowly move to the side, concentrating my focus on bigger things that answered my own personal desires and goals in order to understand what it all meant in its entirety.
I had many a strange experience that at the time I could not shed light on to make understanding of the events, to which I had myself asked others for help on my way. I suppose the hardest realization was to discover that no one had the answers and most just fumbled through life through stress and pains, in order to find a stretch of happiness that they could lie comfortably on without too much conflict or tension. I knew they could not help me with my own questions; I could see clearly that their minds were full of their own unresolved questions and frustrations. Noticing that when I did talk about my issues this only led to them becoming frustrated by the fact that they would have to deal with helping me as well as helping themselves.
This I could very much understand. I knew how it felt when I had to myself deal with the panic events that others around me were participating in, having had bad family situations all around, I knew I would have to find the answers for myself within. I decided very early in my life to not bother with sharing myself with others too much, unless they would not take on my experiences as their own problem and instead listen to me as an interested bystander. The things that I would tell them stretched far beyond the ability to cope with stress, but instead delved into realms most fear to tread, and yet here I was faced with it alone as all others in life, knowing full well in myself there had to be an answer to what I was experiencing.
I think my true growing up started around 10 years of age in a time that I was at primary school. I was starting to have dreams that involved sand patterns, that when I closed my eyes this was all that was presented to me. I had trouble sleeping and could not close my eyes for annoyance at the sand constantly flowing into patterns and designs in my mind, this went on for a very long time, to which I never shared with anyone because I knew very well even at this age that it was not a thing to talk about for creating stress on other people in my life. I had already been branded a very deep thinking and psychologically complex child, so I did not like the thought of being faced with annoyance by others at my weirdness and strange experiences.
The event of the sand patterns was not in itself a weird experience in totality, I was later to discover that I had experienced a trauma as a child after having gone into a cupboard and had tipped the sugar container over, screaming at all the sugar that I had in my hands. I hated to go to the beach as a child, I would scream just at the sight of sand. I knew that I had a stress inside myself as a child, something that I was not willing to accept, and kept it to myself without sharing it with anyone until much later in my life. This stress derived out of a broken family and abuse as a child that would never be accepted by me as foundational, I forced myself to find resolution in all that I experienced.
It might be hard to imagine that a child of 10 actually intellectually resolves issues inside themselves in order to find a balance in life. However this is true for myself in the most part, I remember how I was at that age, a deep thinker and already someone who could make the most out of anything. Giving up was not a philosophy that I held onto and I decided very young that I would reason causal events to the depth of their meaning in order to resolve the problems that I had in my life. People used to say to me constantly strange things like, ‘people cannot be happy all the time’ and ‘stop trying to make me happy’. I found this a strange philosophy to hear from the mouth of others and wondered why they so willingly wanted to hold to their insecurities and unhappiness in life, guarding it as if it was their only foot to stand on.
People were guarding their choice to be unhappy reasoning to me that life had to be lived with pain as well as happiness. I could not see the value in this philosophy, honestly it sounded like such foolishness to me to be living on pain in order to find reason to survive. It was a strange basis to reason life from, and I strongly opposed this way of seeing this in the whole of my life. I could not find the value in such philosophy and the reasons people would want to base their life on bad and good being part of the whole. I felt so strong inside myself that life was based on choice, and that alone. I had myself made the choice not to focus on my own unhappiness as much as possible and it was working, at least until I was confronted by people who could not stand my constant non acceptance of their ‘feeling sorry for themselves’ philosophy.
I could not see reason and purpose in this sort of lifestyle, it was nothing I knew and although I had my fair share of bad experiences, I always found a way to understand it foundationally in order to try and reason it to move forward in life. I knew there was a reason for everything, and life did not have to be lived by rules of the old, but instead guided through choice and the ability to make decisions myself on how I wanted to view my life. My mind was my own and although people judged me often on my perception of life, I knew that I would always find my way through events in order to find resolution and resolve. This lead me to leave many people in my life that could not accept or handle to have such a strong minded person in their life, and I reasoned this through logic, knowing full well that they had their own choice on how they wanted to see life and instead of wanting them to change, I allowed them to voice their opinion and I accepted that they have their own point of view.
I loved this part of them, their ability to hold onto things that they believed in. I was most often sad to let them all go, but I did it mostly because of seeing the pressure they felt from my choice of viewing life and guided my way to finding people that had a view of the world in a similar way to my own philosophies. Leading me to meet many wonderful people in my life, who did come and go though the rest of youth to my now maturity. I let them go for the fact mostly that I did not need to learn from them at all, the learning was going on inside of my own mind, no longer needing the strong hand of others forcing me into their models of life, from the age of 16 I ventured out into the world to discover life for myself and all that it had to offer in answers to the many questions that I had streaming through my mind.
Most people could relate I am sure to the writing that I am talking of so far, having gone through their own ups and downs and issues in life. We are all challenged with the physical and psychological experiences of our youth that make us into the person that we see ourselves as now. The main difference I could see between my experiences compared to others was the fact that they could never let go of the past, or let go of people in their life that only caused trauma and pain to their efforts. I had a far different way of working that led me to venture through most inwardly and alone, working through things ‘with’ other people rather than depending on them for answers. I knew every time I asked questions, especially in my mid to late teens that people would only ever answer on their own opinion and reasoning. Here I was for a while still learning in part to let go of others people’s philosophy and to build one of my own, to which most have to face at one time or another in their life and experiences.
These things were the easiest experiences for me to accept and move on from; even to this day I do not allow the drama of others to venture into my life as my own philosophy. This might seem hard and selfish but in order to help others I was to learn that in allowing them to help themselves was the biggest philosophy of life. I knew that the longer I stayed around holding their hand that they were never going to find reason in themselves in order to see value in their life. To help them be happy I knew I had to let them go, I was not helping them but instead only teaching them how to depend on others for their own purpose in life, instead resulting most times on them having anger towards my own position in life, saying how easy I had things myself and how I could stand strong on my own. This resolution to help others was resolved by the time I was 16 and I moved out of home and into a new world of experiences and adventures.
Even to this day I venture only to help others physically as much as possible, not emotionally if possible. I see that they have the integrity to do things for themselves, knowing full well that what I had achieved in myself was something anyone could achieve, without having to follow on in life being jealous of others and what they have themselves achieved. I knew achieving things came from an individual who is willing to find resolution in their own self and a path to their own glory and happiness. The only person who could decide their fate was their own individual self and although they might have begged and pleaded to others for help, they would eventually be faced with the choice themselves to make decisions for their own happiness and philosophy.
Of course, this type of lifestyle does make a person into who they are in character; that goes for everyone. It can make a writer understand the value of things through their own experiences, but does only justify a part of why I was searching for answers to life so deep. There were many experiences that I was not to share with people until well into my 20s that made it clear to me where my philosophy was coming from even stronger. These things had no logical and structured answers even from my own logical reasoning until the age of 21 and beyond when it all started to get clearer in my mind.
Whether it was to be caused from trauma, the normal senses of pressure that comes from the world around, there were many things I was experiencing that did not line to what I was hearing from others. This is the time I started to read big into books to delve into answers to experiences that I was having that did not fall into the framework of normal in societies eyes. I felt however, that for me it was normal and justified and I resolved that there were definable answers for why things were happening and I found ways in which to search for them for myself; leading to the point that I did find answers, that had plausible cause and reasoning to back all the experiences up.
Growing up as a child I found it peculiar why people reacted to me in strange ways when I said things to them. I knew why they thought in the way that they did towards me from very young, to which I was later to discover that what I was projecting was not considered a normal way to act within the structured acceptance. To me viewing a person from their own mind was normal, most do not obviously venture to do this in their life, for their own reasons I still do not understand a lot of people’s distrust of things that go too deep, that could be because they consider it strange and possibly scary. Nothing was to be seen this way for me, because I could already see what was going to occur, what I was feeling I understood already right down to the core.
I had always been this way ever since I knew. I even remember back to when I was one year old and I had always been able to see what a person was thinking through their emotions and thoughts, sometimes even picking up on their words of thought, word for word. Most just look at you weird and think that it happens from pure coincidence. Some get uncomfortable with it and eventually try and move away not knowing what to think of it. You can well imagine that for me it is normal to view a person in this way and to get this reaction was the strangest thing for me to understand. They feared it a lot, to have someone delving into the deepest parts of their soul, seeing them for all the things that they would rather hide away from all to see.
I had to learn to accept this in others, their fear of such things, and I stopped as much as possible making it evident that I was doing this in our unions, finding it deeply hard at times to face their thoughts of me, let alone to see all the issues that they had to resolve in their lives coming from deep within. The hardest thing to understand is a persons hatred of you before they even get to know you, they hide it away in smiles of pretend gestures, showing full well on the inside what they really feel and why they had that reaction. Knowing what they were having issues with was what resolved this in me to understand it on the basis that the person was overcoming issues inside their own mind. I did not get upset at them because I knew it was not because of me that they felt uncomfortable, and gradually over time they would learn to trust me based on normality rather than fears, just as long as I did not confront them with the fact that I could see deep into their mind for all that they felt or feared.
People do not also want to admit to their inability to cope with things and will always deny things, but I can tell you that I knew this was so for the fact that when they felt comfortable with me they would eventually open up to all the things they hid inside themselves, that I already could see but did not tell. I learnt how to hide what I was seeing by talking to people in general terms, utilizing others as examples to tell them about experiences that were the direct mirror to what they themselves were going through. What I was really talking about however was what they had inside themselves. Describing it through other experiences was just my way of giving them knowledge that I knew about them already, allowing them to open up to me in their own time when I did detail these experiences. Always they say yes I had the same experience, and proceed to tell me about their life and what they are going through.
You can well imagine for me I do not understand why this is not considered normal to focus on life this way, from seeing within all that is from the mind in life. It makes things so much clearer and easier to cope with in order to justify reasons for experiences and events. This is why I was dealing with life and moving through it fast, because I could see already what was happening, and did not realize others did not see the same way. I really thought up until the age of 10 years that others were viewing the world through a similar perspective. We have eyes to see, as we have a mind to view into another person’s world, surely this is not just simple to see? I could not imagine within myself going through life only seeing people on the outside as a surface body and not seeing what they are feeling and thinking as normal. We each have the ability to view in this way, and I see that at times these things arise up in people and I wondered for a long time, why it was that I chose to see life in this way and others chose to avoid it.
This is something I was to learn is that this way of viewing is chosen not to be seen, but is able to be seen by all, I saw this to be so and when I come into contact with people that have chosen to see life this way, it is the most easy and simple of conversations, based on simplicity of life through the material world, devoid of issues from inside that are based from inability to find resolution. Two people with the ability to see each other do never hide anything about their true nature. It is only between people that do not allow this to occur where there are secrets and hidden areas of life, where the person finds it hard to open up to others through fear of ridicule or injustice. It is through the hiding away from fears that stops a person to opening up, choosing instead to hide away in their fear of being seen. This in turn closes them off to seeing others around them, simply because they are consumed by their own problems that they are dealing with inside themselves.
Once a person opens up to others they start to see that we all go through these experiences, it makes things so much more clear and understanding, when we do not hide away in pity for ourselves, and look out into the world for answers. There are answers; there is always an answer depending on what we individually desire and choose to experience.
It was later from the fact that I knew that all had the ability to see life this way, that when I read books dealing with the subject of seeing people’s minds, I scoffed at some of the notions that were put in place. Words like special and gift, and although to the person individually experiencing these abilities would in considering themselves in relation to others better gifted to view life, they are also intelligent enough to know that they have this ability purely from choice. That the ability can be seen by all if they so choose it. The only special thing about it might be that one could foresee the fate of their own reality and experiences, without the fear of cause and effect and underlying fears that people develop in their own nature, compared to people who are refusing to see in this way. Yes, in the fact that a person has chosen to see life more clearly does make them much more analytically aware and more conceptually grafted but only by that alone, not for the fact that they are gifted to tell others how to live their life, or how to see the world around them.
I did not see any of this stuff as special or enlightening, it was normal and I felt inside myself that the fact that it was not considered normal was the real issue and had a lot to do with people and their inability to want to face issues in their life, leading back to them choosing to have a life of good and bad, just to justify the fact of their experiences. Life I knew already was not built up of from these models. There did not have to be bad or good, only life and experiences. Karma did not fall into the category of good advice in my eyes and I never followed such philosophies for the fact that I knew already that life was founded on something far more foundational than right and wrong. Life is for me decided on choice, which never falls into categories of good or bad but merely into ideals on ethics and values for ordering life on the basis of existing.
These were not to be the only things I was to face in those years, whilst confronting things in books I also came across other forms of seeing that people also considered different and unusual which were not considered in the same way through my eyes. I did not consider myself anything but normal in how I viewed life, just clearer and more precise in my direction and reasoning.
There were many other things that I had the ability to see, which included energies that preside in the world outside of the body. I knew what it was all along, but did not talk of it for a long time, even after reading all the work of people who created stories from old philosophies, religions and beliefs. They say they are seeing dead people walking around us, even talking to them and proceeding to live life within this world that is considered of spirit and the dead. I could also see this world but it was glowing through different reasoning from my own perspective. There was a reason for my justification of this experience and that was from the fact that no person who told of these beings could account for the reason why it existed in the first place. They just concluded that it was the heavenly realm and that was that, full stop, no reason or justification needed.
Ok, this resolve in my eyes was justified by the person experiencing it. They really just wanted to live up to this ideal of going to heaven and that their life of challenge was to bring reward. This part I did respect a lot and found it rather an interesting and worthwhile endeavor to live towards. To see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel is really a life lived on values of experience and living towards goals and purpose. This was a valuable resolution in my eyes, so I was not going to be the one to say that they were wrong. To me there was no right or wrong, only choice and decision to see life a certain way. I could think of worse ways to see life, than to want to dance all day in the clouds with angels. This world sounded grand in the scale of searching towards something that would bring reward and gifts to the person wanting to have it.
Even though I saw this to be this way, and understood why people idealized these experiences they were having as gifts and ways of seeing towards the light of life, I was not going to criticize this for a minute. The only problem was to come from my own mind and its own need for resolution to questions and these methods of seeing life, even though they are beautiful and interesting, they do not answer the core of life and why it forms into what it is from its origins. I knew that life could also be founded on anything, but that somewhere there was a linking parameter that could encompass all philosophies and beliefs, at their true core. I knew what this was and could be seen very practically, and whenever I chose for it I could also delve from time to time into the worlds and ideas of others to see from a different perspective, only to come back to knowing that possibility is a choice based on our own ideals.
I knew what these realms consisted of on a much deeper more definitive level that could encompass all possibilities of belief patterns and be seen from any angle possible. This allowed for quick resolution in my mind whenever I was faced with opposing ideas of others, that I knew they were founded on the same principle of philosophy. This was purely from the fact that all were grounded and justifying their life on the same value systems, just with a different way of wording or imparting their own individual knowledge of the same event. Whether the foundation models of life are called one thing or another, it all means the same at the core of all formation, and that is that we are all traveling from the same beginnings, but along different expressions of life. One person might be choosing to be a writer, whereas another might choose to express through art or design. They might seem as if they are totally different ways in which to see life, however at their core they come from the same space called inspiration which is imparted in all of us at the core.
I could see things a lot clearer but in a more practical way, purely from choice from how I wish to see life individually, which has led me to writing the work that I do now. It is written purely from an achievement that I have within myself, not one that I need to justify to another. It comes from my own experiences and decision on how to view life in my own way. It is a work of individual art and a unique perspective of life based on my own philosophies and choice on how to view life. I get joy in writing about how life can be seen from simple order to find clarity and solution.
People might question by this stage to why I do not delve into acknowledging the experiences that I have in life as being special and unusual. The reason this is so is because my life is defined by acceptance that my world is normal and justifiable. There is never a time in my life that there is not a reason for what I have chosen to do, and if people were to ask me questions I would always have an answer. I am fully confident in my own reasoning of life, and how I choose to live. I am confident in myself and my own abilities to experience life for all that it has to offer. I seek only to find normality in a world that has so much individuality, only to find that the true beauty comes from the uniqueness rather than the core of all that it derives from.
I write from a frame of mind that wants to see truth from foundation, in order to create out from. In this way I have found a wonderful means in which to define my reasoning for life and to experience it for all it has to offer at every level without having to sit it all in a box. I really feel within myself that I have found a strong podium to stand on that reasons life purely from choice for experience alone, leading away from the caged ideals that people like to sit within. In my eyes I see a level of life that is separate from the controls of the material world, knowing full well that if people really knew how simple life really could be seen they would laugh at a lot of the issues they have decided to hold onto for so long, choosing to view life for fun and material enjoyment. In my eyes we are only learning if we so choose to. We are not here to learn lessons, but only to experience life for what it has to offer. Learning is a choice and can bring great rewards in expanding knowledge and the experience for life as a whole.
These are a lot of my philosophies purely based on my experiences and individual viewpoint of life as a unique person viewing out into the world we call creation. I have had a lot of experiences to do with visions, and dreams as well as the ability to find answers from within whenever I so choose. Just like with opening a book there is always an answer within the mind which is the tree of knowledge for all of existence. I can just ask the mind what makes fire, which I did when I was younger. The answer came back to me saying that it is the heat reaction caused from an event taking place, which is from the friction created between two objects when they come into contact with one another. This is how I gain my knowledge, not only through books of other people’s philosophies but also inside the mind where all knowledge is already known.
I looked it up on the computer later and it was justifiable my reasoning for why fire is created when I delved into my mind for an answer. It continues to this day and when I write, even though I do back up things by research after I have seen the things I find in my mind, I also do self experimentation in order to see it for myself as being the truth. I find reason also on factual questioning as well as what I see in the mind. If I write then it comes from what I believe to be true based on all reasoning from as many different perspectives as I can find in order to see it. It is always justifiable in the end and has never to this day been a question in my mind to not be confident in how I view life and the way I perceive it. Even to this day it has not swayed at all in its foundation and reasoning, only leading to the ability for me to see it as foundational and causal to laws of structure and formation based purely on resolve and experience.
It is the truth from my eyes, a way to view creation based on foundation being truth. I enjoy to search through life in this way and hold strongly to my valuing system based on my individual life experiences and the events to which I find myself now. This is the story of my search for answers in my life. I hope it gives clarity to my writing and where it comes from in order to show people a doorway into my own mind and how I structure my life through reasoning. It is a unique perspective of creation, one that I hope you will enjoy to read as not only an art form but as a creative viewpoint imparted by my own knowledge and reasoning, that you can choose to take it or leave it based on your own philosophies, beliefs and reasoning.
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